What does feeling trapped make us prepared to tolerate?

You may be surprised to hear an HR person talking from the employee’s perspective, particularly when it comes to leaving.

But then, I’m not your standard-issue HR kinda gal.

This is something that sits very close to my heart because I’ve been in that horrible position where you feel sick to your stomach on the way into work.

In fact, I used to imagine driving my car into a motorway bridge and ending up in A&E, because that felt preferable to going into the office.

Yeah.

I hear it too.

That simply shouldn’t be how we live.

When people feel trapped at work, it can be for all sorts of reasons. Fear of moving somewhere else and discovering it’s even worse. Fear of losing income when you’re responsible for keeping food in the fridge and a roof over everyone’s head. Fear of not finding another job at all.

I’ve spoken to two people recently.

Both feel trapped.

Both are experiencing dreadful working conditions, including bullying, harassment, belittling behaviour and bosses playing fast and loose with pay.

But they’re making very different decisions about what to do next.

One person feels they have no choice but to stay. They aren’t prepared to make any kind of formal complaint because they’re frightened of what might happen if they do. They need the income and can’t see an obvious route out. So, for now, they will put up with it.

The other person is actively building a business of their own while also looking for other roles.

They haven’t escaped yet, but they’re creating options.

Neither decision is simple.

It’s easy to tell someone to leave a bad job when it isn’t your wage paying their bills.

It’s also easy to say, “You should raise a grievance,” when you won’t be the one dealing with the fallout if the employer responds badly.

Sometimes staying really is the least bad option available.

But staying still has a cost.

It shows up in your sleep, your health and your confidence. It follows you home. It changes how you behave with the people around you.

Bad workplaces don't just make work miserable. They make our whole lives smaller.

Having experienced that myself, it became one of the driving forces behind starting Human Everything.

You may not be able to leave today. You may not be ready to raise a complaint.

But there is a difference between choosing to stay for now and quietly surrendering yourself to a workplace that is making your life feel rubbish.

The first step might simply be admitting what staying is costing you. Then, slowly, start to build a way out. Sometimes just refreshing your CV can make you feel better.

And if you're an employer reading this, don't dismiss it because it isn't your story.

Somebody in your team might be carrying exactly these thoughts without you having the faintest idea.

One conversation could change that.